Niagara
by annam8td
Summary: Kitty and Lance's wedding, inspired by Jim and Pam's wedding on "The Office". Rated higher than usual for some anaotomical mentionings.
1. The Announcement

A/N: I love watching The Office, and I love X-Men Evolution, so I came up with an idea to combine the two; Jim and Pam's wedding episode will be revamped to become Kitty and Lance's wedding in Niagara Falls. I am trying to keep the story lines as similar as possible, and at the same time assigning as many characters from X-Men as I can to The Office cast of characters, though it is quite difficult to make the character portrayals on both ends as accurate as possible. That being said, here is my current list of characters. I own nothing.

Jim=Lance  
Pam=Kitty  
Dwight=Kurt  
Michael=Pietro  
Angela=Rogue  
Andy=Scott  
Erin=Jean  
Meredith=Wanda  
Phyllis=Tabitha  
Oscar=Charles Xavier  
Stanley=Logan  
Kelly=Amara  
Toby=Bobby  
Pam's Mom=Kitty's Mom, Theresa  
Pam's Dad-Kitty's Dad, Carmen  
Ryan=Evan  
Isabelle=Rayne

And that's what I have at the moment. I am also changing the name "Dunder Mifflin" to "Paper Chase", because I just saw that movie about two months ago, and I have also decided that all of the characters will continue to work for a paper company. I really hope this works out, and please let me know what you think. If you're a fan of The Office, let me know if the story line translates well; I have taken some creative liberties to make the story my own, though they are slight.

* * *

After declaring that they have an announcement to make, Kitty and Lance stand side by side in the middle of the office, facing their co-workers. Taking a deep breath, Kitty begins. "You guys have probably noticed that my stomach is a little more sensitive lately," she says, "So if you wouldn't mind wearing a little less perfume…" She takes in the blank stares of her colleagues. Kurt sits back in his swivel chair, arms crossed, eyes narrowed with intent. Scott rests his arm on his desk while Tabitha, Todd and Wanda stand nearby, looking inquisitively at the couple. Kitty continues, "…and if your lunch is especially pungent, maybe you could have it in the break room." "We would really appreciate it," Lance adds to his fiancé's request.

Sensing some confused looks from his colleagues, Kurt turns around in his swivel chair. "Kitty is constantly throwing up because of the pregnancy. If she eats something the fetus doesn't like, she is screwed." _It's amazing that a 3-ounce fetus is calling the shots. It's so bad –ass!_ He says to himself, smirking as he swivels back to face Kitty and Lance.

"Tabitha," Kitty says, "If you could switch to a different soap, just for a month or two. Yours is kinda perfumey."

"Now this is getting ridiculous," she spits, rolling her eyes.

"Oh gee," Kurt sarcastically responds, "I'm sorry Kitty. I guess I missed the meeting where we all voted for you to get pregnant."Kitty is hesitant to respond to her friend, and Lance looks shocked. "No," he continues, "I reserve the right to peel my hard boiled eggs at my desk." The last few words are emphasized by Kurt pounding on his desk.

Wanda cocks her hip in response, "All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigars, and I am not stopping for anybody" before returning to her desk. At this point in the conversation, Jean, Professor Xavier and Fred have stopped working to attend to the conversation.

"I don't think I'm asking for too much," Kitty responds, a slight shake in her voice. "I guess it's just the end of courtesy in the workplace." She shrugs and takes her seat at her desk, which is directly facing Kurt.

A few moments later, Kurt begins pealing his hard boiled eggs at his desk. The small shells make a crackling noise as they are pealed from the hardened egg white, which forces Kitty to put her work down. Head tilted in annoyance, eyes narrow, she gestures towards him as if to say, "Are you serious?" Kurt responds by waving his hard-boiled egg in front of his face, sniffing it deeply before slowly and defiantly taking a bite of its soft exterior. The stench of egg crosses the desks towards Kitty, who is forced to pick up her small garbage can from the side of her desk just in time for her to vomit into it. Placing the garbage can back by the side of her desk, Kitty looks at Kurt, who is taken aback by his friend's visceral reaction.

At this time, Scott holds his breath and rushes from his desk into the break room just a few feet away. He closes the door behind him, lets out the air from his lungs loudly. Those who have chosen to eat their lunch in the break room stare, to which Scott responds, "Watching people get sick, always makes me sick. And," he gulps, "frankly, so does talking about it, so…wow." He places his hand over his mouth and rushes to the washroom, just in time for him to have a loud visceral reaction of his own.

Hearing these reactions, Kurt's egg-filled mouth is agape, and Kitty wipes her mouth with a Kleenex, cocking her head to say "I told you so."


	2. Dos and Don'ts

Outside of the office, Pietro stands proudly behind his sports car, proudly displaying his decorations to Kitty and Lance. His rear bumper is cluttered with ribbons, and at the end of those ribbons is a bunch of aluminum cans. His rearview window displays "Going to a Wedding" in white paint marker. "Well, what do you think?" He asks them. "Spent the whole morning doing it."

"It is really special," Lance says, though the tone of his voice clearly shows his disinterest. Pietro grins widely, like a puppy that has just been given a bone.

"Yeah," Kitty says, the tone in her voice matching Lance's, "But, aren't you supposed to do that to our…" She looks at Lance, whose eyes communicate that Kitty should throw the puppy a bone. "No, it's great," she says, smiling and then casting her eyes down at the cans.

"It's just a really important day for me," Pietro adds, his grin widening. "Well, congrats," Lance says, shaking his friend's hand.

Inside the office, Secretary Jean cheerily records a new message for the answering machine. "Paper Chase: Bayville will be closed today and Friday for a company wedding in Niagara Falls," she smiles, "So please leave a message, and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day."

Once that is done, she heads into the conference room, where Kitty and Lance have gathered all other Paper Chase employees to discuss the Do's and Don'ts of their wedding. "Believe it or not, Blob, fire crackers are in the "Don't" category", Lance says, adding to the already growing list on the dry-erase board at the front of the room.

"So you're gonna provide them then?" Blob asks. Lance shakes his head, "This is a firecracker-free wedding," and is met with verbal dismay from both Blob and Kurt.

Kitty chimes in, "All of these things are important to remember, but the most important thing is that no one says anything about my pregnancy at the wedding."

"Absolutely," Lance adds, "Because not everyone knows, and some people might be offended."

"_Decent_ people everywhere will get offended," Rogue declares, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well, we're thinking of my grandmother," Kitty explains, "who we haven't told, and is very old-fashioned."

"Well you're lucky to have a grandmother," Rogue says, muttering the rest of her thought under her breath.

"You know, Rogue, you don't have to come to the wedding," Kitty challenges. Rogue responds, though her words are unintelligible as Pietro talks over her and says "Yeas she does. Yes she does," as though this would diffuse the tension between the two females.

"We're all gonna go," Pietro says, placing a firm hand on Rogue's shoulder. "We're all gonna go, and we're all gonna have a good time." "Ow", Rogue hisses as Pietro takes his hand off of her shoulder.

"All right," Kitty mumbles, trying to move the conversation forward. "The next time we're all in this room, Lance and I will be married." She smiles at the thought, until Kurt drags her cheery mood down.

"We'll see," he skeptically responds. Kitty awkwardly thanks Kurt for his input before she and Lance say good-bye to their friends and co-workers. Once the couple leaves the room, Pietro stands next to the Do and Don't chart.

"And don't embarrass me when we go up to Niagara," he says.

"What happens in Niagara stays in Niagara," Scott slyly remarks, to which all of the remaining Paper chase employees laugh and cheer.

"Don't, don't," Pietro jokingly warns, point a finger at Scott. "Don't steal my joke."

"I didn't steal your joke," Scott tells his silver-haired co-worker.

"Yes you did!" Pietro insists. "I said it yesterday."

"But you can say that about anything," Kurt elaborates, changing his tone of voice, "What happens in accounting, stays in accounting." Kurt's enthusiasm is also met with cheers from co-workers, which Pietro attempts to quash.

"No, no. Please. Kurt, that's enough. That's _my _joke!" the speed-freak insists.

"But it's so easy," Kurt explains. "That's what I'm saying. You can say—"

"Don't! Ok, this is what I'm talking about." He glances out at the fellow employees. "When we go up to Niagara Falls, we are representing Paper Chase, everyone. This is a very important wedding for this branch. The most important wedding until I get married, so I want you all to be on your best behavior, or so help me God!" The conference room quiets down, and Pietro adds to his speech. "So I will see you up there in _Viagra Falls._" His attempt at humor goes unnoticed by fellow employees


	3. On the Road

A/N: This chapter might be a little difficult to read, especially since I don't want to have to put A/N or a page breaking line whenever someone is in a different car, so for now I hope things are clear. So for now, just assume that every group is in a different vehicle.

* * *

By this time, Paper Chase employees head to their cars, preparing to caravan to Kitty and Lance's wedding in Niagara Falls.

Scott rides with Jean and Amara in his sports car, though he finds it odd that the two would rather sit in the back seat and dance to the loud music blaring from their iPods. "Hey," he says loudly, hoping to be heard over their blaring headphones. "Do one of you guys wanna sit up front with me so I have someone to talk to?" The girls only respond by bopping their heads to the beat of their music. "It's like a five-hour drive. Ish, you know."

"Nah," Amara replies, sliding her headphones around her neck. "This is so much cooler. We feel like we're in a limo, and you're our driver."

"Mmm" he replies, feeling lonely and used. He glances in his rearview mirror, sees Jean slide her headphones around her neck. "Jean?" She shakes her red hair "Oh no, that wouldn't be fair to leave Amara in back." Shot down, Scott drives the car in silence, reminiscing about how sweet and cute Jean is.

Lance and Kitty drive up to their wedding location, leaning closely to one another to talk. "Hey, my aunt told me something neat," she says. "Yeah?" Lance says. "She said that since everything in the wedding goes by so fast, we should try to take mental pictures of the high points."

"Oh yeah?" Lance asks, amazed at the notion. Kitty nods, excited at the prospects of taking mental pictures of her wedding. "That's cool," he says. He takes one hand off of the steering wheel, pantomiming that he has a camera in his hands. He pushes the button. "Click. Oh dang, you blinked. Damnit, now that's in my brain forever. Lousy picture."

"Should've hired a professional to take the mental pictures," Kitty shrugs.

Kurt and Pietro ride silently in Pietro's decorated car.

"So..." Kurt begins. Pietro jerks, removing his sunglasses. "Oh wow," Pietro gasps, "I was asleep."

"No way," a horror-stricken Kurt responds.

"It's these sunglasses man," Pietro explains, "They're super dark." Pietro rubs his eyes and suggests turning on music. "You know what? I made you a CD," Kurt offers. "Really?" Pietro asks. Kurt pulls out a shiny purple CD and explains that this is the CD which Pietro should play for a woman when he brings her back to the hotel room. "How thoughtful," Pietro says. "A little mix to set the mood. How delightful. Pop that in." Kurt inputs the CD into the player, proclaims that Pietro will like the music.

"Hello, my name is Kurt Wagner," says Kurt's whispering voice through the speakers, "If you're listening to this. You're a lucky woman Pietro has seduced." Pietro's enthusiasm fades as Kurt's whispering voice sighs heaving. "Ah, to be in your shoes. What's next? You're wondering. Don't be scared in your night in heaven." Pietro's fading enthusiasm turns to disgust.

"Are you serious?" He asks Kurt.

"Yes."

"You want me to play that for a woman coming into my room?"

"Yeah, it's practical."

"No, it's not," Pietro protests over the whispering voice, and over Kurt's personal proclamations that the CD will benefit him in some way. "That's not how it works."


	4. Checking In

A/N: The same concept of a lack of page breaks applies to this chapter also.

* * *

When Lance and Kitty arrive at the hotel, they check in under separate names for the first night, and confirm that they will have the honeymoon suite the following night. Kitty beams at the thought of finally marrying Lance. "Can we take a look at the suite now?" she asks the woman behind the desk. "Oh, I'm sorry," the woman says. "Somebody just checked in."

"Oh," Kitty says, "Is there another wedding at the hotel this weekend?" The woman shakes her head, saying that an individual just checked into the suite. "That man there," she points to a man by the stairs, and the soon-to-be-newlyweds are shocked to find her pointing at Scott.

"Hey!" Scott greets. "I got the room right before you guys." In a creepy way, Scott eludes to breaking in the bed for them before laughing and walking away. Smiles fading, Lance whispers to his fiancé, "I don't like that".

Kitty directs the woman at the desk, "I'm going to need the name and phone number of the housekeeper responsible for changing the sheets, please."

Shortly after, Pietro and Kurt check in. "Hello," Pietro says. "I have a reservation for Pietro Maxim off." As the woman looks up Pietro's reservation, Kurt comments that the hotel's proximity to the Falls makes everything smell like a basement, to which Pietro chuckles.

"I'm sorry, sir," the woman says. "I'm not seeing you in here. When did you make your reservation?"

"I don't have a reservation," Pietro explains, "but I want a room in the Alvers-Pryde block of rooms."

"I'm sorry sir," she says. "The block only applies to the rate. I'm afraid we're all sold out"

"Kurt Wagner," he chimes in, "I have a reservation. Confirmation number Romeo-Tango-G-7-7-4-5." The woman types the number into her system, and acknowledges that the reservation has been found. "Excellent," Kurt says, "And I spoke to Lisa about having a room with two safes." The woman behind the desk nods. "There's your key, Mr. Wagner."

"Kurt" Pietro exclaims, following Kurt with his luggage, "I need to stay in your room."

"No way!" Kurt protests. "What if I meet someone?"

"Oh come on, Kurt. I'm staying in your room." The two quarrel over the situation further. "I would do the same for you," Pietro says. Kurt raises a skeptical blue eyebrow. "You would?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"I don't know…"

"Oh come on Kurt! I'm staying with you!" Kurt says a final no before checking his reservation voucher. His blue face becomes pale. "Oh no," he mutters. "This reservation is under P. Maxim off!" Pietro triumphantly grabs the voucher from Kurt's nervous hands. "Now I don't have a room!" Kurt cries. "Pietro, I don't have a room. Can I stay with you?" Pietro pauses to think.

"You know, I don't think so Kurt." "Oh come on Pietro!" Nightcrawler cries.

"I would say yes, but you can't, and I'll tell you why," Pietro promises, though Kurt is begging him to stay in the same room. "If I have a woman up there, and things are getting exciting, she'll get turned off if she looks in the bathroom and sees you brushing your teeth."

"Oh, OK," Kurt concedes, grabbing the voucher once more. "Aha! This was a test, and you _failed!" _Pietro frowns. "It is my room," Kurt says, "and you would not share with me."

"But, I don't have a room," Pietro whimpers. "No you do not!" Kurt says, grabbing his luggage and walking away. "Oh," Pietro says in a mocking tone, "You must pass your wisdom test," He stands alone in the lobby as Kurt heads towards his room.

After the misgivings of Kurt and Pietro at the front desk, Logan and his female companion check in. "Hey, Logan," Pietro says, suddenly appearing at Logan's side. "Could I stay in your room tonight?"

"Are you out of your mind?" Logan asks. "I brought Ororo with me."

"Not in the same bed," Pietro continues, "In the other bed."

"I got one, queen-size bed," Logan states.

"You're kidding me," Pietro says.

"A queen-sized bed is five feet wide," Logan explains, "I am not five feet wide."

"I know that," Pietro says, "Just be careful". He greets Jean and Amara as they walk up to the check-in desk. "Can I stay in your room tonight?" The two women are shocked, and Pietro receives an answer which is a mixture of "Oh, gross" and "Blow my brains out".

"That's rude," Pietro scoffs as Bobby approaches him. Much to Pietro's dismay, Bobby mentions that he has an extra bed in his room, and offers it to Pietro. Pietro rudely declines, telling Bobby that he will be sleeping alone for the rest of his life, "So you should just get used to it." Dejected, Bobby walks of, muttering that he tried to be nice.

In a corner of the lobby, Kitty and Lance huddle towards Lance's parents to discuss which relative is Kitty's grandmother. "Oh, Nana?" she says, scanning the room. "She's the one in the teal suit. She's also the only person over the age of 80 with no smile wrinkles."

"Dad," Lance begins, "Remember, no mention of the baby." His father nods. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," Pietro says, appearing out of nowhere, "She's very conservative, so mum's the word." Lance awkwardly turns, and introduces his parents to Pietro. They shake hands, and Pietro inquires about who is giving the toast. Pietro discusses an idea he has, before Lance cuts him off. "Pietro, I thought we asked you not to speak, like, at all, because it's just going to be a blood relative thing."

"You are seriously going to impede my ability to hook up with your female relatives," Pietro says through somewhat clenched teeth. Stunned, Lance turns towards Kitty and his parents, to see them pulling back in embarrassment. "I think everyone just heard that," he says, exasperated.


	5. A Toast

At the wedding rehearsal later that night, Kitty and Lance makes their way through the crowd of guests, and Kitty finds herself at her grandmother's side. "Hey Nana," she says, placing a hand on the elderly woman's shoulder. "You know," Nana says, "I wasn't sure about your branch of the family, after I heard about your parents' divorce. But you and Lance are just perfect," she nods in approval. Stunned and pleased, Kitty thanks her grandmother and says that nobody is perfect. Nana's face hardens, "Well, I wouldn't care to live if I thought that."

On the other side of the reception, Lance greets Kitty's father. "Mr. Pryde, how are you?" Carmen Pryde nods, and introduces his young, female companion to Lance. "I'd like you to meet Lisa," he says. Lance asks if Lisa is Carmen's niece, which receives a chuckle in response. "No, no, this is my girlfriend." Lance's eyes widen, and he glances to the other side of the room to see Kitty's mother, glaring at her ex-husband and gulping down a glass of champagne.

Elsewhere, Kurt sits at the children's table, gesturing at each of them with his beer bottle as he discusses the quarterly reports and status of the Paper Chase financials. "Why would they make the bad man your boss if you're so much smarter?" One girl asks. Kurt shrugs, "That's what I wanna know. Because while I was busy trying to improve the company to make it a success, Lance, the bad man, was busy kissing the boss man's butt!" The children all "ew". Kurt takes a drink of his beer, "Ew indeed, Kinder. Ew indeed."

Kitty introduces Charles Xavier and Fred to her sister, Penny. "She's my Made of Honor," Kitty explains. Xavier shakes Penny's hand, and Fred laughs when he hears Penny inquire about he and Xavier being a couple. "You think I'm dating _this_?" an astonished Xavier asks. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Stunned, Kitty tries to diffuse the situation, "Charles, it was a simple mistake." Xavier looks Fred up, down and around. "This? You thought I was dating this?"

"Hey Charles," a timid Fred interrupts, "I would be proud to date you." Xavier shakes his head.

"I'm sorry," Penny says. Fred shakes her hand, reassures her that she just made an honest mistake. "I'm not gay. I'm Fred."

"Nice to meet you Fred," Penny says, before apologizing to Xavier for her mistake. "You owe me an apology," a distraught Xavier declares. "Are you seeing anyone right now?" Fred asks Penny. Kitty explains that Penny has a boyfriend, and the he is out of town right now, so Fred bows out of the conversation.

At another table, Evan tries to charm one of the female wedding guests. "I was the youngest VP in history…" to which Rogue interrupts by telling the woman that Evan's most recent employment was at a bowling alley. I'm sure he has lots of funny bowling alley stories." Embarrassed, Evan can only give a crooked smile.

Across the room, Scott and Fred lean towards each other. "How did Rogue end up at the happy peoples' table?" Scott asks. Fred rationalizes that Rogue probably switched cards with someone, "Like I did with Jean." Scott is flabbergasted. "What?" he squawks, "Are you kidding me?"

A knife taps loudly on a crystal glass, and a young woman stands to give a toast. "Kitty and Lance," she says, "You have no idea how happy I am to be here." A few tables away, Pietro and Kurt exchange looks. "Head table," Pietro sighs, "That's where I should be."

"It's for family only," Kurt explains. When Pietro asks who the woman speaking is, Kurt materializes a binder from behind his chair. In this particular binder, Kurt keeps the search engine results of the female wedding attendees, and surmises that the woman speaking is Kitty's best friend, Rayne. He rattles off some statistics about Rayne's high school Ultimate Frisbee team, which Pietro deems useless. Pietro also overhears Lance's brothers planning their toast to the groom. He elbows Kurt, and gestures towards the two men. "They have hilarious material, and they're going to deliver it all wrong!" Pietro fumes, "I would kill to toast! It should be me up there!"

Lance's brothers take a moment to deliver their toast. "Kitty," Tom begins, "You've got the greatest smile, and your body is fine. I'm hoping my wife will kick it up a notch." While Pete and Tom are the only ones laughing, Pietro deems their toast inappropriate, and takes matters into his own hands. Tapping on his glass, eyes turn towards Pietro as he stands to give a toast of his own.

"I promised I wasn't gonna make a toast," He begins, "And I'm not going to. I'm just going to do some free-standing comedy, and if at the end, everyone wants to raise their glasses to Kitty and Lance, then so be it." Across the room, Kitty's eyes widen, and she clutches Lance's hand under the table. Lance shakes his head, hoping that Pietro doesn't make an ass of himself.

Pietro clears his throat. "Hey, what is the deal with the SmartCar? If it's so smart, than how come the things are tiny? Can you even drive them in traffic?" the tone of his voice changes to one of mocking, "Err, I'm so smart. E equals MC squared. I drive a smart car. That's not smart in my book." Pietro received no laughter or even smiles from the crowd of strangers and employees.

"The only smart car, is Kit from _Night Rider_." Kurt nods in agreement. "Now that car can talk. Can a SmartCar talk? No, than it's not a SmartCar. And also, Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang, very smart." By this time, only Kurt is laughing in agreement. "Everyone can laugh," Pietro encourages, "It doesn't just have to be the idiot." Lance takes the lack of enthusiasm as a time to step in and save his increasingly awkward rehearsal dinner.

"Hey everyone," he starts. "Thank you all for coming. I just want to say how happy we are that all of you are here tonight. And I want to especially thank those of you who have come from far away to be here with us tonight. Especially the Florida cousins, who obviously can't take a hint." The guests laugh, and Lance smiles down at Kitty. "Four years ago, I was just a guy, who had a crush on a girl, who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do, which was just wait. Don't get me wrong, I flirted with her. Kitty, I can now admit in front of friends and family that I do know how to make a photo copy." The room laughs once more. "I didn't need your help that many times. And do you remember how long it took you to teach me how to drive stick?"

Kitty nods, and tells the rehearsal attendees that it took her about a year to do so. Lance sighs heavily, "I've been driving stick since high school. So, yeah." Kitty pantomimes the memory camera, and takes a picture of Lance. "I had little moments, with a girl who saw me as a friend, and a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think, even then, I knew I was waiting for my wife. So, I would like to propose a toast, so if you would all raise your glasses—not Kitty, for obvious reasons," Kitty's smile fades, and she stares fearfully into the audience. Lance continues "If everyone else would raise your glasses…"

"What's obvious?" Nana interrupts. "Why can't Kitty drink?" Lance is stunned. "Kitty can't drink? I didn't say that. I shouldn't have said that, Kitty can do whatever she wants, though she shouldn't, because she's…" Lance searches for the right way to cover up his sever mistake, "an alcoholic." Everyone in the room is shocked, and some murmur to their neighbors.

"No," Lance says, "That's not true. The real reason is that, um, that Kitty's...pregnant." Nana looks at Kitty, her face horror-stricken, and Pietro coughs loudly over the murmurs of the crowd.

"I think what Lance is trying to say," Pietro adds, "is that they had an accident. And, you know what? These two people, they're living together, and they're lots of consensual sex…" The more he talks, the harder Kitty tries to bury her face in her hands. She feels her stomach sink, and Lance looks like a deer caught in headlights. He sinks into his chair, feels the air leave his lungs, and then Nana asks another question.

"They're living together?" she asks, eyes wide and face clenched. Pietro nods feverishly, and Nana shakes her head just as fast. "And you know what?" Pietro continues, "You can't expect them to be careful every time, because, frankly, it's just a different sensation." At this point, Lance tries to stop the madness. "Pietro," he interrupts, though with no avail. "They say it's not different, but it is a different sensation when you use something—"

"Pietro!" Lance shouts, his voice shaking. "—Something to block…I think everyone knows that I'm talking about." Everyone in attendance is looking around the room nervously, faces flush and parents cover their children's ears. "It's not necessarily true for the woman," Pietro continues. Kitty begs Pietro to stop. "My point is," he concludes, "I said what I wanted to say, and Nana, I hope you heard every word. Cheers."

Awkward and embarassed, Lance lifts his champagne glass, and tries to focus the mortified attendees. "To waiting," he raises his glass, and thankfully everyone else follows suit, except for Nana, whose facial expression is a mixture of disgust, shock, and disappointment.


	6. They're Naming the Baby After You

While guests are eating, a disappointed Kitty leaves her table to speak with Nana. "I should have known," the old woman says, casting a cold glance at her granddaughter's midsection. "The hotel had a movie on called _Bruno_ last night. The remote control had so many darn buttons on it that I couldn't turn it off, so I had to just sit there while it happened to me." She stares at Kitty. "I wondered, How could they pick such a hotel? Now I know."

"Nana," Kitty pleads as the old woman rises from her seat. Paying her granddaughter no mind, Nana walks out of the dining room, casting an angry glance at Lance and Pietro as they talk in the corner.

"Things were a little touch and go at first," Pietro whispers, "But I think we saved it."

Lance shakes his head, "I can't believe it was me."

"I know! I can't believe it was you either," Pietro adds, "I actually think it takes a lot of pressure off of me."

Lance looks at the ceiling in disbelief, angrily asks, "Is there something about being a manager that makes you say stupid things?" Pietro shakes his head, says he has not found that to be the case. Kitty appears by Pietros side, her face the picture of frustration.

"Hey smooth guys," she sarcastically says. Lance apologizes whole-heartedly, while Pietro points and says "Can you believe that he screwed up? Not me." Lance casts a shameful glance at the ground, rubs the back of his neck.

"Nana's not coming to the wedding," Kitty hisses, "She's leaving tomorrow morning." Lance gathers up the courage to look Kitty in the eyes, asks her if she's serious.

"There's gonna be a free room?" Pietro inquires. Kitty and Lance ignore the speed-freak, and stare at each other in disbelief of the whole situation. Pietro takes this moment to exit the dining room, and knocks on the door to room 425.

Nana opens the door, and her face drops when she sees her caller. "Hi, Nana," Pietro greets softly, "It's Pietro."

Nana stares at him over her wire-rimmed reading glasses. "Oh," she recognizes him, "You're the foul man who wouldn't stop talking about intercourse."

Pietro smiles, "Yes, one and the same. May I?" Nana nods and invites Pietro into her room. Thinking that he can charm the old woman, Pietro thinks back to his way of communicating with the elderly, and remembers that for the longest time, his own grandmother was his best friend.

"I want to go to bed," Nana tells Pietro. "But I can't. I can't turn that television off." Pietro turns and pushes the OFF button, much to Nana's relief. "Oh thank you. It was that horrible Mormon show."

"Aren't they just terrible?" Pietro asks, pulling out a chair to sit in while Nana sits on the bed. He clears his throat, "Here's the thing: Nana, I think you just need to chill out about this whole Kitty getting pregnant thing." The elderly woman rolls her eyes in annoyance. "It's not 1890 anymore. It's modern day, and women have sex before marriage." He continues, even though Nana scoffs. "I think we need to celebrate that. And I know in your day, she would be considered a whore, but now, women go out, and they have sex, and they get wild and take their tops off, and they have pictures taken of them, and we need to encourage that. That's part of life."

"People are like cats and dogs these days," Nana explains, and Pietro agrees. She continues, "This used to be such a great country, I don't know what happened to it."

"They're gonna name the baby after you," Pietro confides. "They're gonna call it Nana."

"You mean Sylvia," she corrects.

"Yes, and if it's a boy, they'll call him Sylvio." Nana smiles at the thought.


	7. After Party

While guests are eating, a disappointed Kitty leaves her table to speak with Nana. "I should have known," the old woman says, casting a cold glance at her granddaughter's midsection. "The hotel had a movie on called _Bruno_ last night. The remote control had so many darn buttons on it that I couldn't turn it off, so I had to just sit there while it happened to me." She stares at Kitty. "I wondered, How could they pick such a hotel? Now I know."

"Nana," Kitty pleads as the old woman rises from her seat. Paying her granddaughter no mind, Nana walks out of the dining room, casting an angry glance at Lance and Pietro as they talk in the corner.

"Things were a little touch and go at first," Pietro whispers, "But I think we saved it."

Lance shakes his head, "I can't believe it was me."

"I know! I can't believe it was you either," Pietro adds, "I actually think it takes a lot of pressure off of me."

Lance looks at the ceiling in disbelief, angrily asks, "Is there something about being a manager that makes you say stupid things?" Pietro shakes his head, says he has not found that to be the case. Kitty appears by Pietros side, her face the picture of frustration.

"Hey smooth guys," she sarcastically says. Lance apologizes whole-heartedly, while Pietro points and says "Can you believe that he screwed up? Not me." Lance casts a shameful glance at the ground, rubs the back of his neck.

"Nana's not coming to the wedding," Kitty hisses, "She's leaving tomorrow morning." Lance gathers up the courage to look Kitty in the eyes, asks her if she's serious.

"There's gonna be a free room?" Pietro inquires. Kitty and Lance ignore the speed-freak, and stare at each other in disbelief of the whole situation. Pietro takes this moment to exit the dining room, and knocks on the door to room 425.

Nana opens the door, and her face drops when she sees her caller. "Hi, Nana," Pietro greets softly, "It's Pietro."

Nana stares at him over her wire-rimmed reading glasses. "Oh," she recognizes him, "You're the foul man who wouldn't stop talking about intercourse."

Pietro smiles, "Yes, one and the same. May I?" Nana nods and invites Pietro into her room. Thinking that he can charm the old woman, Pietro thinks back to his way of communicating with the elderly, and remembers that for the longest time, his own grandmother was his best friend.

"I want to go to bed," Nana tells Pietro. "But I can't. I can't turn that television off." Pietro turns and pushes the OFF button, much to Nana's relief. "Oh thank you. It was that horrible Mormon show."

"Aren't they just terrible?" Pietro asks, pulling out a chair to sit in while Nana sits on the bed. He clears his throat, "Here's the thing: Nana, I think you just need to chill out about this whole Kitty getting pregnant thing." The elderly woman rolls her eyes in annoyance. "It's not 1890 anymore. It's modern day, and women have sex before marriage." He continues, even though Nana scoffs. "I think we need to celebrate that. And I know in your day, she would be considered a whore, but now, women go out, and they have sex, and they get wild and take their tops off, and they have pictures taken of them, and we need to encourage that. That's part of life."

"People are like cats and dogs these days," Nana explains, and Pietro agrees. She continues, "This used to be such a great country, I don't know what happened to it."

"They're gonna name the baby after you," Pietro confides. "They're gonna call it Nana."

"You mean Sylvia," she corrects.

"Yes, and if it's a boy, they'll call him Sylvio." Nana smiles at the thought.

In the hotel bar, Scott finds Fred and Charles Xavier sitting at a table. "Partay," he says, "Room 439." Fred cheers, and Xavier smiles before taking a sip from his wine glass. "The chick are gonna be off the hook," Scott adds. "Guys too, Charles, like Calvin Klein models."

"That sounds epic," and amazed Fred says. "Can we bring anything?"

"Nope," Scott shakes his head, "Except $40 for beer, and any hot chicks you know, because that would help me deliver on some promises I made. The smiles fade from Fred and Xavier's faces as Scott walks away. He is beaming at the thought of throwing a real Summer-style throw down for the people in his office. Making his way around the bar, Scott passes on the invitation to Jean.

Upstairs, a smiling Kitty leaves her hotel room. She is confronted by Rogue, whose holier-than-thou attitude is more pronounced than usual. "And where do you think you're going?" Rogue asks. Kitty says she was just going to go head down to the hotel bar for a little bit. "Why don't I just save you some time and kick you in the stomach instead?" Rogue asks, tilting her head in an irritated manner.

"I just wanted to get out of my room for a little while," Kitty says. Hands on hips, Rogue declares that she will accompany Kitty, to which the young brunette rolls her eyes and says "Nevermind."

"Are you sure?" Rogue asks, following Kitty down the hall.

"Yeah."

"Could be fun."

"Nope."

In Kurt's room, Pietro sits in awe of Kurt's choice of pick-upwear. "It looks like you're going to a fish fry," he says. Kurt stairs down at his shirt. "It's a wolf howling at the moon. It's suggestive to women, because I howl during sex." Kurt howls in the room, and Pietro shakes his head. "That's so inappropriate," he comments, though Kurt persists. "Uncool. That's uncool Kurt!" Then Pietro howls. "Alright, let's go!" The two head down to the hotel bar, where they begin to mingle with female wedding attendees. While Pietro is discussing Disney Pixar films with the attractive woman sitting next to him, Kurt interrupts. "I found twins," he whispers to Pietro.

"Twins, how exciting," Pietro gasps. "I'm sorry," he says to the woman, "You understand. It was nice to meet you." He abruptly leaves the table, and follows Kurt to the twins like a pirate following a treasure map. Kurt stops, stares at the occupants of a nearby booth. "Aren't they magnificent?" he asks. Pietro rubs his temple, "They're men, Kurt." Kurt nods, says he loves finding a good set of twins. Pietro walks away, muttering "There is something wrong with you."

In his hotel room, Scott is pleased with the party turn out. Wanda cuts loose with silly dance moves, while Amara and Evan dance closely near the window. Logan smiles at Ororo, drinks from his wine glass while swaying to the beat of the music. All other office co-workers bop to the music and a few even pump their fists in the air. A circle forms around Wanda as she does a Robot routine.

"You call that a robot?" Scott scoffs. "Try being more robotic." He pushed her out of the center, and presents his own robotic dance moves. Some co-workers ooh, while other are not so impressed.

"Lame!" Amara yells. "What else have you got, Scott?" Scott responds by doing a Carlton-esque dance, flailing about.

"What else you got?" Jean encourages. "What else you got?" Fred asks. Scott smirks.

"Did someone change my name to Baskin Robbins?" he asks. "Cuz I feel like a banana split." Scott twirls and cheers himself on as he slides down onto the ground into a front split. Once on the ground, Scott shrieks in agony, his eyes wide. The party-goers recognize his pain, and Fred and Jean prop Scott up by the shoulders and walk across the hall.

"Kitty will know what to do," Fred says, feverishly knocking in the door while Scott breathes heavily and holds back tears with all of his might. Kitty opens her door, pajama clad and hair mussed from her pillow. She rubs her eyes, and Scott quickly explains that he was dancing did a split and landed on his car keys in his pocket.

"What?" Kitty asks. Scott breathes heavily, and Jean tries her best to support him while he shakes. "I tore my scrotum," he says, "I need you to take me to the hospital."


End file.
